The world we live in is a very connected world. Yet most of us feel more disconnected than ever.
We put our best foot forward on social media because God-forbid anyone find out that we are struggling.
It leaves us feeling like a fraud; like we are helplessly alone; like no one really knows us well enough or cares enough to reach out to us when we are not ok.
This connected but not connected way of living keeps us feeling empty.
We tell everyone the good stuff – but not the stuff about how you woke up with poop in your hair because there was a kid sleeping on your head half the night.
We think it makes us look like bad moms. Or like we suck at being moms. Or like we are vulnerable.
Holy goodness – let’s not let anyone see us be vulnerable.
This is a construct of society to lessen our power. Our power lies in truth. It lies in being the real you, sharing the Fs as well as the All-As.
I’m here to tell you, it’s ok to be exhausted. It’s ok to be fed up with your kids getting up a thousand times a night to wake you up. It’s ok to be tired of breast feeding. It’s ok to be tired of changing diapers (especially when you have at least two kids in them for a solid four years – not the same two kids, we had overlap).
It’s ok to be sad that your tweens are pulling away from you. It’s equally ok to feel like you can’t wait for them to grow up and move out.
It’s ok to be devastated that your oldest son is a year away from graduation, and your daughter is right behind him. I’m not kidding – the thought of these impending events have got me crying at the drop of a hat. I’m not ok that they are almost grown. I’m not ok that I feel like I didn’t enjoy them young enough. I’m not ok that they will be moving out in less than 3 years.
It’s ok to be inconsolable over the miscarriage you had, or the job you didn’t get, or the death of someone you love.
It’s ok to be sad. It’s ok to be mad. It’s ok to feel however you are feeling. It’s ok to not be ok.
I’m not suggesting you post all your dirty laundry for the whole world to see. But I am suggesting the following:
- Pray. Even if you don’t know how. Just say, Hey God…and start telling him how you are feeling. (It works.) I don’t do fancy prayers, and I even yell at him sometimes, and I haven’t been smited yet (smote? I don’t know the past tense of smite.)
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you really need it.
- Find someone or someones who you can commiserate with. They aren’t ok too – and you need each other to lean on. (Honestly, this is anyone and everyone – but make it someone you feel completely comfortable with.)
- ALWAYS remember most people are only sharing their highlights. And the more they do that, the worse off they probably are. People who try to make their own lives look perfect are usually the ones struggling the hardest.
There will always be times that you feel like you are struggling. It’s ok. We all have that.
If you need somewhere to hang out where it’s ok to not be ok – head over to my FREE Facebook group. We’ve got a spot for you.